At bunting and hitting with bases loaded...I actually contemplated punching a hole in the wall next to me tonight when I saw Fick was chosen to PH again and strikes out looking. I'll give Flop and Belliard a pass because they've been hitting well lately, but overall we have the quality and patience of a AA team when the sacks are packed.

Continuing with the theme of an April recap, I'd like to take a look at the pitching staff. Specifically the starting rotation. Obviously the chips have not fallen where Mannyger thought they would at this point of the season. The man whose name was written in sharpie at the top of the rotation is now the only one without a win (Williams is on the DL) and the only one with an ERA over 7 (its sad that 7 is the magic number). Based on this year's performances only, this would be my rotation for May:

1.) Shawn Hill - I believe there's only two situations in which you're allowed to only throw two pitches, when you throw the knuckle or the sinker. That's because you can use either of those as your main pitch, and use the fastball as the change of pace pitch. Traditional breaking balls are harder to get over the plate and thus can't be used as often

2.) Jason Bergmann - The man battles...hard. He along with Hill are the only two that seem to be able to strike out anybody with regularity this season. Now if he could just keep his walk numbers down he'd be right up there with Hill.

3.) Matt Chico - He gets the nod over J Patt simply because he has wins. Chico should win the Juggs pitching machine of the month award. Man gives away homers like no other (except Chief...see previous post).

4.) John Patterson - The guy is not right in the head, thats all I can think of. He's like a modern day Rick Vaughn, he's got the stuff but he can't hit the plate. Perhaps he needs coke bottle glasses and shit shaved into his head. I dunno but somebody get this man a psychiatrist...or Jobu.

Jerome Williams in injured so I won't include him, but he'd be #5 for the simple fact that he is 0-4 and shows no sign of stopping.

Seen a flyball closer. And that's pretty much what chief is. He can't start because he has two pitches. And really they're the same pitch a low 90s fastball. For the second pitch, he just throws it slower and over the plate and calls it a changeup. He needs some time to sit and think about what he's done...cost the nats three games already and its still april. At this rate, he personally will lose us 15 games this year.......I'm pissed

Fuzzy Numbers

We're 19 games into the season and at points the Nationals have shown flashes of being a decent team. Most often though, they've shown us what its like to be a Royals fan. Today is gonna be all about the numbers, I know it means nothing but its fun to project what final numbers would be if the entire season went like the first month. So if the rest of the season repeats what happened so far here's what you get:

Nationals Wins: 51
Nationals Losses: 111 (Take that Olney!)
D Young Walks: 110
D Young Strikouts: 110
Z-Man Grand Slams: 9 (I'm rounding up)
Wins by Nationals Starters: 17 (I'm not joking)
Wins by Nats Bullpen: 34
Walks issued by Nats pitchers: 810
Strikeouts by Nats pitchers: 998 (honestly I thought this would be way lower)
Errors by Nats fielders: 179

ARod Homers: 119
Nats Homers: 85
ARod RBIs: 306
Nats RBIs: 503 (Take that ARod)

So what do these numbers all mean...the Nats are bad, ARod might be the son of Zeus and nothing all at the same time

Hey everybody, sorry we've been AWOL for a week. School is winding down for me, and Kyle has been globetrotting for work. That doesn't mean we haven't been playing close attention to our Nats.

Since our last entry, our record has been 5-6, and the bats have started to wake up. Unfortunatly, JPatt is a #4 starter in reality, and the Chief is a middle reliever in Closer's clothing. These things were stated by me over the Spring, and unfortunatly I was right. I also predicted this would be the year of Guzmania, and that Alex Escobar would start in Right Field. So I'm not batting 1.000.

Anyway, this is just a message to tell you we aren't dead, and that coverage will be picking up here in the next few weeks as I graduate, and Kyle and I go to more games. Let's hope for a series win today against the Fish.

Oh Nos!

Perhaps Rauch and Chief should switch roles, cause Chief is strugglin' big time. Then again anyone would find it hard to dominate with his meager stuff. I will give him this though, he battles...hard.


I know we haven't posted in a quite awhile. I've been on the road for business and have been a little preoccupied with the situation down in Blacksburg, VA and Virginia Tech. I graduated from this fine university this past May and still have numerous friends attending there including my girlfriend. They've all been hit pretty hard by the tragedy and a few have lost people quite close to them. I was in Cleveland at the time on a business trip so unfortunately I couldn't be there to comfort any of them but I was glad to see that the Nationals in some small way tried to help out the community with their grief. Just knowing that someone cares about them enough to go to the local sporting goods store and buy up a bunch of VT hats and bring them to the field can be helpful. Atta boy Kasten!

CHIEF...LEARN TO PITCH!

THAT'S ALL THE BASHING I'M GONNA DO! YYYYYYYYYYESSSSSSSSSSS!

Here at the Report we've decided that liveblogging every game, and doing recaps of every game is pointless (unless you're Ballwonk, his are awesome). Instead, we'll just chime in when necessary, and recap the action each week. This is the first of...many.

1-6. Not what we hoped... pretty much what everyone who didn't drink the Kool-aid or run a Nats blog that loves the Guz (us) thought. What can we take away...?

Starting Pitching: Grade: F
Results exactly as predicted. Two quality starts (Hill and Williams) were all we got after 7 games. JPat (F) looked awful, with no command of breaking pitches, falling behind in counts, and lacking the confidence and speed to overpower anyone. If our "Ace" is in this state....look out. Bergmann was awful (F--). Chico is rookie, and thus gets a freebie (Check). Hill and Williams, get a B and C+ respectively.

Fielding: Grade: D
Guys, we will lose 90% of our games if we field like this every week. DYoung (permanent D) was known to be a black hole, so one can blame him for being one. But Zimm? A utilityman here for his fielding (Wilson)? Let's go guys. You're lucky Kearns has a frickin laser beam in RF.

Hitting: Grade: F-
I don't really know what to say here. RISP? Might as well leave the room, because you won't miss anything but a disappointment. This team looks like my HS varsity team with sticks, and I don't see it getting a lot better. The reason? We just faced Florida and Arizona. Wait till we get a team with more than one good starter.

Bullpen: Grade: B
Say what you will, if the bullpen pitched like our starters did this week, we would have lost by double digits. Count on it. Rauch (A) and Wagner AKA Juggs (B) should be given a gold star by Mannyger, because without them...well nevermind, we're 1-6, couldn't be a whole lot worse.


All in all, F. This blog will be a labor of love, because right now, Kyle and I might have a better chance at a quality start than Jason Bergmann. Not that that's saying a lot.

See you later this week, let's hope for .500 by next week....

I know, I know. A man can dream.

Oh wait, that's just my toes. It was an absolutely rediculously fridged night for baseball tonight at RFK, and buffeted by the wind, the Nats dropped another game to the Snakes. Can't say I blame them, going up against the reigning Cy Young award winner but still, a 7-0 (7-1 if you trust the umpires) loss sucks, especially when you look at how many men we left on base. That's the frustrating thing about the Nationals so far this season. It's not like our team is not getting hits, we're just not getting hits when it matters. Case in point, tonight, bases loaded one out we're only down 4. And D Young grounds into the inning ending double play. He, however, is not in my crosshairs tonight. No sir! That privelege belongs to none other than Kory Casto. I knew it was not going to be his nor the Nats night when he gets up in the bottom of the first and looks at strike one...looks at strike two...and then, you guessed it, looked at strike three. He might as well have stepped into the box with his helment backward holding the bat by the barrel, cause he sure wanted no piece of a hit. That was absolutely pathetic. The last thing I'm going to say about tonights game is that once again, the Nats give me hope. John Patterson again had nowhere near the best stuff he's got. His control is way off, throwing just as many balls as strikes. But guess what, when he left the game, we had only given up 3 runs and were still in this ballgame, and that's really all you can ask from the starting pitching this year. And we kept up the number of hits, we just gotta start stringing them together. One more note before I go, evidently the foul poll in left is bigger in real life then on the tv. I'm starting to get a burning sensation in my toes, which means I think there's blood flowing in them again, must be time to go to bed then. Until tomorrow, Sayonara! (In honor of Eric Byrnes' ninja garb tonight)


What was that tonight. Seems like we just rolled over and took that beating like a cheap hooker. At least Jerome Williams didn't allow a bizillion runs in the top of the first. Gotta look on the bright side ya know? This opening week has been a trying one for the Nats and their fans. Damn you Nats for teasing us in ST, maybe we really are that bad. I'm still holding out hope though. Despite the forcast of snow for the metro DC area, I'm planning at being at the ballpark tomorrow night wearing my sweet new Guz-Mania! (I know he's on the DL...again) t-shirt. If any one out there even reads this thing and sees me at the game, holla atcha boy! Until then, adios mi amigos!

A Curly W

Buster Olney can kiss my ass.

This win was a NEED. The team needs to show themselves that they can hit when they need to, and the middle relief showed today what some on other blogs and message boards have said, that it can be a strength.

The starting pitching obviously needs to improve, and I make no promise that it will. But the sticks woke up today, and showed us that the Nats can thunder. Now we just need some quality starts...I'm lookin at you, Jerome.

Cardiac Kids

Wow, what a game, at least from what I read about it. Sadly I was no able to follow along on the radio at work today. Glad to see maybe there's some fight in the Nats this year. The starting pitching is absolutely dreadful...as expected. Glad to see the bullpen didn't shit a brick like it had been so far though. Well good on ya boys for pickin yer heads up and comin back. Hopefully we'll see more of this type of effort as the season rolls along

Hey everybody, I'm here at Schooner's at CNU with some friends, catching the first game of the Nationals third season. I'll be attempting to keep anybody who can't see the game updated, at least the few people checking this page. I'll enjoy the wings for you, Kyle.

12:40- I'm in here a little early, and have yet to catch a waitress's attention to switch the tv for me...this could be bad....

12:43- Great Success! All I had to do was show some skin....

12:47- A kid just brought an entire table of dishes and silverware down on her head, and started yelling "Mommy"...surreal.
And they still haven't actually changed the channel yet...maybe the leg didn't help.

12:56- And we're a go. From the camera viewpoint, looks like a good showing by my butts in seats
unofficial attendance meter. Colin and Dan are now here, so the fun is about to start. Retract that statement, the upper bowl is a graveyard.

12:59- So there is no sound, so I couldn't tell you who the people throwing out the first pitch are, but Mayor Fenty, and Coach Actavate are among them. They showed the oufield wall's hall of fame, but I can assume that Walter Johnson is not among them...

The new commercials are interesting...Felipe Lopez stealing against what I can only presume are the New York Yankees....only without any insignia on their jerseys...

1:06: First pitch of the year....a low strike. We'll take it.
aaand a ground rule double on the second pitch by Hanley Ramirez. Good start.

Ramirez steals 3rd, beats the throw by a second. 1 out, man on third.

Cabrera walks, 1st and 3rd...sets up the DP...

So much for the DP, Jacobs singles in Ramirez. 1-0 Fish

Lineout by Willingham. 2 down.

SIT DOWN JOE BOURCHARD. K for JPatt. Middle of 1, 1-0 Fish.

2 quick flyout, a triple by Zimm, and a first pitch lineout by Kearns. End of 1, 1-0 Fish. MASN kindly reminded us that Zimm's triple was his first of the season. Thanks, Stat guys!

Zimm makes a play from his ass, 2 down man on second. That one could be on Sportscenter tonight...

Grounder to the hole at short to the Guz, Ramirez beats the throw by a step. Lucky. 1st and 3rd.

Bases loaded ground rule double by Cabrera, 3-0 Fish. Not looking good for JPatt.

1:38- We finally have sound...much better than playing the Gameday audio which was about 2 years behind. Jpatt's control is way off today, that'll come with some more innings, but we gotta hope that our offense can pick him up.

The sideline reporter is interviewing Mayor Fenty, meanwhile DYoung grounds out to first.

Offense looks pretty anemic. Willis is throwing pellets. and Church still can't make solid contact on a curve.

Logan gets lucky on a bad hop to short, after a Church walk. 1st and 2nd, 2 outs. JPatt up to promptly end the "rally" on a god awful swing. take a lap.

Patterson redeems himself with a 1-2-3 innings (featuring 2 putouts by DYoung).

Felipe with a hard single, and Guz got to first on a FC. 1 down with Zimm up.

aaaaand Zimm GIDP to end the 3rd. Not looking great.

2:02: The Orioles commerical showed Chris Ray, and then said Mariano Who?....cmon.

2:12: Brendan asked who the long man out of the pen was, and I said Speighner...guess who started warming up? YES SIR! JPatt's about done. 4-0 Fish on a broken bat single.

I may have used Jobu against Logan, as he crashes into the wall, hurting his foot on the ghetto walls. Way to go, RFK. Looks like Snelling (the Aussie Avenger) is our new LF, and Church is moving over to CF. Nice catch, anyway.
Casto's phone is ringing off the hook, and the announcer's made the same statement.

So in our first game, we've lost our Centerfielder, found out that our Ace is not so much an Ace as an Ass (not really true, just sounded funny), and we left our bats in Viera. Good times!

Cabrera jacks a ball into the Right field upper deck...6-0. This is becoming a slaughter. Here comes Speighner.

Teddy Roosevelt just ziplined from the upper deck in the President's race. Best thing I've seen thus far. Oh, he still lost to George Washington.

DYoung doubles on a broken bat shot to right, 2 on, no out. And Schnieder gets a Sac fly scoring Kearns. 6-1, bottom 4. And Snelling grounds out to end the inning.

Observations: Kearns has a cannon of an arm.

3:06- Nats bats spring to life, with back to back to back hits. DYoung's double brings in Zimmerman. aaaand then they die. Schneider flied out. Church fouls out. Snelling lines out. WTG boys.

I'm going to stop now. We lost. Or, we will be losing here soon. Too Depressing.

So I live in Charlottesville, VA. Where we cannot get MASN or MASN2. But Major League Baseball puts our area code under MASN's coverage. So do you know what that means, I get to watch 1 nationals game this year on tv and/or the internet. And that is the national game on fox. Fuck MLB!

I do declare!

A short weekend getaway but I'm back to the grind. And thus I start the season off with a bang. SO BEGINS THE REIGN OF GUZ! Comeback player of the year baby!

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