The Nationals Report

It seems the only interest the national press has in the Nats Spring Training this year concerns two people, Nick Johnson and Dmitri Young. We knew going in that this would be the key position battle this March. With Nick playing well, Dmitri injured and not making playing time demands, it seems more and more likely that Nick Johnson will be the opening day starter at first base. What's becoming a little more unsettled is the other position on that side of the infield.

Coming into this season, Jim Bowden pretty much ended any debate as to who would be starting against the Braves at shortstop, it would be The Guz. That left Felipe Lopez and Ronnie Belliard to play for the spot this spring. Word from the front office was that it was Belliard's position and Flop was going to have to take it away. Then, a few weeks before the season kicked off, the Nats made a signing that perplexed some and was ridiculed by many. They signed 38 year-old (soon to be 39) Brett Boone to a minor league deal.

Many around the league figured we were just signing a player to fill out Spring Training rosters and basically paying some has been to field BP. Meanwhile, Brett himself swore up and down that he left the Mets in the spring of 2006 because he was battling alcohol and that he was now clean, hungry, and still has plenty left in the tank. I, like many others dismissed his quotes as someone who had lost touch with reality and was in denial that he is past his prime. Heck at this point most players are past their usefulness at all. Despite this, Boone showed up to Nationals accelerated minor league camps ready to play.

It wasn't long before Bowden made the decision to move Boone over to the big league camp and allow him to prove that he's still got a little juice left in the bat. Shortly thereafter Boone showed everyone that he was not a liar and that he could still hack. Boone's swing has been as sweet as it ever was, showing decent power to go along with a keen eye.

As of today Boone's batting line is .462 .636 .364. He's got the fourth highest slugging percentage on the team (min. 10 AB) and has yet to strike out. Compare his line to Elijah Dukes, .476 .778 .389 and their pretty similar. That is until you take into account that Dukes has struck out in just short of half of his at bats. (See crazy Elijah Dukes stat at the end)

Personally my vote for opening day second baseman has to go to Brett "The" Boone. I haven't even begun to get into his defense but both Flop and Belliard have obvious holes in their defensive games (Flop's penchant for errors, Belliard's range). It also couldn't hurt to have another veteran to show the youngsters the right way to approach the game day in, day out. I know we're paying Flop/Belliard significantly more money but I've never been one to play who you pay. You play the players who give you the best chance to win the game and from what I've seen so far this spring, that player is Brett Boone.

That being said there's still plenty of time this spring for Boone to fall off and for Flop and/or Belliard (btw Belliard is raking) to really lay claim to the spot, so I'm keeping an open mind. And to be honest I'm biased because I dig the fact the Brett wears a helmet instead of a cap. I think there's no question Boone should be on the bench, but I think this is one position that the front office and Manny should take a closer look at before penciling in the opening day starter.


RANDOM ELIJAH DUKES STAT: So far this year Elijah Dukes has had 18 AB and has not been put out once. 7 hits, 3 walks, 8 strikeouts...wow

I wish I had other stuff to write about, but there's nothing, absolutely nothing. Today Paul Lo Duca and Lastings Milledge were unveiled to the Washington media. You can dress em up but you can't take em out. Check out the banner shot from Nats.com


First things first, that guy in the background looks scary. I'm pretty sure he's a Marlins fan wondering what its like to actually sign a new player. Second, Trader Jim looks really pleased with himself. I don't pretend to imagine what's really going on in his head but I'm guessing its something along the lines of, "That's right Jimmy, you really duped em all this time. You're a god damn genius. No one does it better than you. Take that Reds! How's Gary Majewski doing? PWND!" Lastly, Mr. Milledge also looks mildly amused, but look at Lo Duca! I'm glad he could spare the time out of his extremely busy day to grace us with his presence. It's not every day you get to see a 4 TIME ALL STAR. I know you were just traded from a contender to the Nationals, but seriously, show some @#$%ing respect, at least paste on a fake smile.

You're not starting off on my good side Paul, not at all. If you're going to mope on stage, you might as well have just phoned in and placed a cardboard cutout of you on the stage. That is, if the Mets shipped us the one they used behind the plate last year.

Milledge on the other hand, I like your style. You already know how to give the media what they want, the almighty quote. "We're gonna go out there, we're gonna bust our tail and we're gonna win." Similar to but not quite as legendary as maybe my favorite sports quote of all time, "We'll take the ball, and we're going to score!" (oh, Matt Hasselbeck), but still, I like where his head's at. He's hungry for wins, which can only help.

From now until we're mathematically eliminated from the 2008 playoff race, the following statement will end all of my posts:

2008 Washington Nationals, NL Wild Card Winners!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Bloggers, Analyists, and Steve Phillips, I'm here today to tell you the State of the Nation(als) is strong! (Waits for applause)

Stan Kasten and I have worked together in a bipartisan fashion to make the moves that will make this group stronger, and help it compete in the new, globalized world of the National League East.

Just because we are better off than we were one year ago, doesn't mean we can relax. There is an Axis of Evil in our midst, and we cannot allow their acts to go unanswered. Omar Minaya, who I believe is from Azerbaijan or something, is a threat to our Nation(al) security, and he must be stopped. I received word from an intelligence report that Minaya has an evil plan to sign every hispanic player in the league, making a super-immigrant team that cannot be felled. We cannot allow that to happen. Well, he can have Felipe Lopez, but hands off our Jesus.

That brings us to another point. A lot of the "Media" has given this administration guff about signing players with troubled pasts. A lot of you know that I have a history of giving people second chances, and I believe very strongly in that. This team is about forgiveness, understanding, and togetherness. Oh yeah, and winning. But for all the naysayers that claim that Mr. Milledge and Mr. Dukes are a danger to the clubhouse, and to society at large, I offer you this solution. We have Jesus on our team. Well, we actually have two Jesus'. Jesuses? Jesui? Anyway, we've got the J men to help these kids find the path. Barring that, we've got Da Meat Hook, who will simply eat any one or thing that hurts the team (or gets in his way to the Pre-Game spread).

We aren't done making this team better. We are linked with Livan Hernandez, Bartolo Colon, and other fat guys whose names I can't remember at this moment. This brings us to the most important aspect of this State of the Nation(als). My "Roadmap for Victory in the NL East Mission Accomplished America" plan. Please pay attention and take notes, as there will be a quiz at the end.

1. To finish first in any category at the end of the season. Now, the Liberal media will tell you that the only categories that count in this business are Wins, Losses, Home Runs, etc. I don't think that's the truth. We could lead the league in weight. We could lead the league in felonies. We could lead the league in outfielders. There are opportunities out there, and my job is to explore those.

2. To get ejected more often. With Robert Fick gone, and Dmitri's diabetes-rage under control, we've got to lean on the new guys and Manny to get the job done. Everyone knows that ejections get shown on Sportscenter. We've gotta compete with the Yankees and Red Sox in media coverage, and this is one way to get this accomplished.

3. To spread Nationalocracy all over the world. We've been talking to some Japanese relievers at the Winter Meetings, and Stan is very keen to sign some players from Asia to expand our fan base. But I say, Asia is just the beginning. That's why, I will ask Major League Baseball to authorize funding for a Spring Caravan to Mars. It's one thing to be a global brand, but it's entirely different to be a Universal brand. Take that, Red Sox.

4. This last initiative is already underway and showing signs of success. Bob Boone and the Nation(als) Intelligence Agency have come up with an important discovery that could move the Nationals into first place, forever. The NIA has come up with a brainwashing device that makes teams act like the Kansas City Royals (spending no money, and trading away any and all talent). The early success story is obviously the Florida Marlins, trading away Miguel Cabrera and Dontrelle Willis. There are, unfortunately, side effects and unintended consequences. As you may have noticed, the device's emission have floated into Kansas City, and have turned the Royals Front Office into the New York Yankees Front Office. We are sorry for this mistake, and we have crews working around the clock trying to fix this problem. Stan Kasten wanted me to say that he's sorry to Andruw Jones. He'd never be headed to KC if we hadn't used this device. But this device is good for the Nation(als), and its good for America.

In closing, I want to thank you, citizens of the Nation(als). You have shown your support by watching this team, when we had Jason Simontacchi pitching, and D'Angelo Jiminez batting. You've shown commitment, and an unwillingness to Cut and Run, even when Ryan Langerhans is hitting. We will reward that commitment by cutting payroll, and trading your fan favorites. Granted, these trades may have made us better, but I can assure you, that was not our intention.

Good night, and God Bless America.